Sadly I did…for awhile. I admit it, I gave up on Jason. I had been a fan of his since 2003 and it was love at first listen, but the last few albums that I listened to failed to impress me into that same state of music bliss. I don’t know what it was about them, they just didn’t reach my heart like he had in the past. Mr. A-Z came out and it was good but something just didn’t hit right. Then We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things. came out and I just kind of stopped actively pursuing the opportunities to listen to Jason’s music. I heard about the music through friends. Prior to that I was always on his blog, his website and most definitely his message board. I loved the community and I loved Jason. If he came anywhere near me I was there, and “anywhere near me” meant anywhere within 4-5 hrs from my home…or the home of a close friend.
I would take every opportunity to say hi and catch up with him. Each time a look of recognition would hit his face along with a smile, he would tell me it was great to see me and give me a hug, and then say the same thing “I suck, I forgot your name, I am so sorry. Tell me one more time?” and I would tell him my first name and he would automatically exclaim my last name with a proud smile. He always remembered my last name and connected our history. Sometimes making a joke that my last name was oak, or spruce or some other tree instead of my actual last name..which is not a tree. Our little joke. Each time I would walk away with a huge smile on my face and “love” (not “I’m in love with you” kind of love but the “you are an awesome person and mean something to me” love) in my heart.
Everything Jason did was golden, his voice hit that sweet spot. I thought he could sing the dictionary and it would enthrall me but then that changed. Maybe it wasn’t him, maybe it was me. I started to explore more music and was digesting everything I could get my hands on from all directions. My musical taste was growing and reaching out to include a wider variety. Maybe this was me “navigating”.
Right after Mr. A-Z came out, I just kind of started listening to Jason when he hit the radio. Some of the songs were good but the longing to listen to his CD in entirety for days upon end were gone. A song here and there when they came on the radio or played in shuffle mode was as much listening as I was doing. I no longer ran out to the store to grab his albums as soon as they dropped and scoured the net for anything I could find. I would still go to his shows if wasn’t too expensive and tickets were available…but I didn’t wait around to try and say hi anymore. Too many people.
When it came down to it, live is the one place where my love for Jason always remained. Even the albums I didn’t care for brought me back to him in the concert setting and made me love him again for those few hrs he was on stage. However, that love would again begin to dissipate back into like as soon as I popped in the cd and the tingles would fade because the songs on the cd just didn’t capture the same energy or feeling of emotion behind them that the live show did.
Well… the tingles are back. The butterflies, the desire to see Jason live whenever and wherever he goes, as well as wanting to put a song of his in constant rotation. All of it is back full force and its all thanks to his new song “I Won’t Give Up”. As soon as the song started I was fully immersed, so much so that when it ended I could have sworn no time had passed at all but yet I could recall every word and the melody soared through my head and heart. I played over ten times in a row and finally had to stop because it was 3 am and I needed to sleep.
My brain and heart wouldn’t let go of the song though, I dreamed of that melody in the background and woke to it playing in my head. “I Wont’ Give Up” made me want to meet someone, fall in love and then break up because the timing was bad not because we didn’t love each other. Then as he prepared to walk out of my life this song would play as tears slowly fell down my face and I whisper to him that I will wait for him never giving up on us…ever. My imagination created this scenario and even though it would hurt, my heart desperately wanted it to be true…all because of a song. This song.
I love this song. I may have given up on him but he didn’t give up on me. He continued to play music and reach out with his songs and finally I heard. After searching through iTunes I realize he has released more albums in that period of time that I was exploring other music and musicians, so I am doing what I can to rediscover him and catch up on the time lost. It may have taken awhile but I’m finding my way back. Thank you for not giving up Jason. I have missed you and your magical voice. I won’t give up again.
Download Jason’s new song “I Won’t Give Up” here: Jason Mraz – I Won’t Give Up (iTunes Link)
PS Jason, you still owe me a copy of “Live” and “Sold Out (In Stereo)”, but I guess I CAN give up on that 😉
Posted by LW and tagged as heart, I Won't Give Up, Jason Mraz, Love, Tingles